Light Lost
by Lucy Yvonne
Summary: One year. 365 days. Enough time to crumble. Enough time to lose yourself. Enough time to let the darkness swallow you. Enough time for past demons to resurface. Enough time to let scars heal. Enough time to learn how to stand. Enough time to gain confidence. Lucy learns this.
1. Chapter 1

Her pain was like a piece of jagged glass, embedded deep into her soul and her heart. Each breath made her feel like she was choking on air. Like she was drowning in the deepest sea, where no light could reach her and her voice would forever remain unheard. Her fingers reached out, but fell short of their goal. As always. Grasping illusions and dreams gone by. Realities that never really were. Smiles that became home, in the end, were only temporary shelters that would crumble with the slightest wind. Was she always this fragile? Yes, she was.

The year she lost the only place that would ever really accept her, she began to question things. Was it only her that cared? Were the bonds she weaved so tenderly with her own two hands not as strong as ropes as she believed? Were they only threads that would break with the lightest of tugs?

These were the thoughts that made her collapse near her wall each night. Near the collage she had crafted. To find them and reunite them into the family she had always known, this was her goal. But somewhere along the line of trying to sort this out like the journalist she hoped she would one day be, and embracing her own feelings, she had become selfish.

Time slipped past her. A shadow that would never slow down, no matter how much she begged it to. It wouldn't let her heal. Wouldn't let her break the steel bars that had automatically risen around her wounded heart.

Her room was too peaceful, too bare, too empty, so out-of-place and so wrong. Just like her. Each day that she looked at it, her apartment and her life, she was reminded of long halls and silent tables. The life she ran away from, the life she thought she had left behind, this was the life she would always know. An isolated, lonely life. She should have greeten it like an old friend, the only one she had remained.

She got up every morning, pushing herself to survive just one more time, to not hide the scars but display them proudly, to smile widely and to act as cheerfully as she could. And, for a while, writing offered her the way to do all this. A respite.

And then the glass broke. Cries echoed in her room, _who was doing that?_ her arms warm and consoling, the only reassurance she had. And long into the night, she allowed herself to weep freely, without any shackles dragging her down.

And that is how the zodiac found her. Huddled up to shield herself from invisible foes, silent tears that carried her pain escaping from shut eyes and little hiccups escaping her now and then. Leo took to her side first, then Virgo, followed by Aries and Gemini, with the rest watching from afar. But not Aquarius. Aquarius wouldn't be here anymore. No snarky comments and no mini-floods. No hidden kindness and no sneaky motherly glances.

At that moment, with the zodiac surrounding her, Leo gripping her hand tightly and pink hair, carefree grins and invigorating words flashing through her mind, she wiped her face and gave those that tethered her to reality a vulnerable smile. It was a step forward. One step closer to mending herself. And she swore, she swore that she would no longer be the girl who was left behind. She would be a warrior, in her own way. She could never be as strong as Erza or Gray or Natsu but she wouldn't be content anymore with the way she was. She'd start from the ground up. It was high time she learned to stand on her feet, high time she learned to raise her fists and high time she learned to catch herself. Standing up, she said, more to her demons than to the zodiac,

"I'm going to get stronger. Watch me."

 ***A/N: This Lucy-centric came out of nowhere but I'm really glad! Lucy is my absolute favourite character and her story during the one year time skip has really bugged me 'cause they haven't shown much and she is often so underrated that it annoys me. Anywho, the title, "Light Lost" is inspired by her name, 'Lucy,' which means 'light'. Comment and review and hope you enjoyed it!**


	2. Chapter 2

**And I'm back to pester everyone! Just kidding. Fun fact, my birthday is July 7 and I take great pride in it as a Fairy tail fan. Oh, if I got a few facts wrong, please don't hesitate to tell! Disclaimer:I don't own the fantastic world of Fairy Tail!**

She wouldn't say that the reaction she had gotten to her announcement was what she had expected. After all, the zodiac, with all their little quirks and annoyances were as precious to her as her own life, and so was the guild. No matter how long she had been with them, whether it be an year or since her childhood, she knew they were protective of her, preferring as little as harm to come to her as was possible keeping in mind she lived a mage's life, a fact that she was ashamed to admit, she slightly indulged in.

But she knew those days were over now. At least, she hoped they would be. Back to the point. While she had known that they would support her wholeheartedly, she wasn't anticipating the slight gleam in Leo's eyes or Capricorn's slightly knowing look. Nor had she foreseen pleased whispers breaking out amongst her spirits, Sagittarius going as far as to mutter his plans aloud.

She was growing slightly nervous by this point. Her eyes darted from spirit to spirit until they rested on Leo, who adjusted his glasses, "Uh, mind telling me what you're all so excited about? You're kinda making me want to take back what I said with your shared glances."

It wasn't Leo that stepped forward at this, but Cancer, which added to her surmounting curiosity and shock. He let his scissors drop on the ground and began solemnly,

"Ebi, when you said you wanted to get stronger, you never looked like the spitting image of your mother. Before she...before she got ill, she wanted to get stronger to protect you. But she never was able to. By that time, her magic had already started leaving her body. But she knew one day, you would embark on the same journey, so she started collecting little bits and pieces of information on Celestial magic as she could. She didn't find anything that really interested her at first but then, she remembered her ancestor."

At this, he hesitated a bit, like he had almost let loose something that Lucy wasn't supposed to know. She ignored the sudden lull in his story, telling herself that it was just because the memories of her mother were to painful for him to recall. Instead, she smiled comfortingly, hoping to help her spirit in whichever way she could. He nodded to show that he understood and continued,

"You'll be told more about her later, Ebi. But your mother, she began to write about what she knew about her in this."

Virgo followed his lead. In her hands, she was clutching a faded and torn leather-bound book. It looked at least a decade old, barely surviving the test of time. Lucy reached out for it and Virgo complied. She held it carefully, _So this was what Mom was upto, huh._ She ran her fingers over its spine, noticing the bumps and especially the cursive, Layla Heartfilia, written in gold ink. She was broken out of her reverie by Leo,

"We should probably leave you alone to look through it. Try not to rush it though, Princess. You won't be able to know what she's talking about at first but that's what we're here for. We're going to help you, you can count on that."

He smiled softly, and it startled Lucy because it was so different from his usually charming speeches. Her heart-warmed with appreciation because she knew that they were all doing this because they had seen how she had been like the past month. She let her hand curl up into a fist on her chest, right above her heart, feeling the comforting buzz. A whisper floated through the air,

"Thank you."

And she basked in the warm and loving glow the stars left when they vanished.

She dropped onto her couch, waving away the need to go take a bath, berating herself for even thinking of something like that at a time like this, but old habits die hard. _Okay, stop stalling Lucy! It's now or never!_ She flipped the pages till she reached the oldest entry, taking a deep breath and letting herself dissolve into her mother's handwriting.

 _January 7st, X777_

 _Today was my first day of searching for extensions of Celestial magic. Jude wouldn't even let me go to the library for fear that I would sneak of with Lucy again. And Lucy, my darling, was the exact opposite. She was teeming with excitement since we seldom allow her to wander their alone. While she was busy searching for fairy tales in the far corner. I got the opputunity to find a book about the Heartfilia line._

 _Anna Heartfilia. What a peculiar woman she was. The strongest Celestial Mage till date. And the only name that called me to me when I read thousands of them. It is silly to hope that I might one day get to meet her. It was said that during her lifetime, all 88 celestial keys were united under her. I can't believe someone like that existed in my family and I had no idea up until now!_

 _Well, that was the only information I could find about her in that book. I will continue my search tomorrow. Ah, I couldn't find anything about planetal spells as well. Capricorn assures me that he will try to teach me Urano Metria if I so wish it and he might have something to say about Anna Heartfilia as well. It has been so long since I trained to get stronger, it is making memories of Love Lucky resurface. For now, I'll have to go since Lucy is asking questions about her latest discovery. I hope I get to learn more tomorrow!_

 _Layla Heartfilia_

Lucy blinked, brought out of an image in which she was tugging on her mother's skirt, while she sat in their family's library, smiled down at her from one of the wooden tables, the smell of old books lingering in the air. She gingerly touched her cheeks, not surprised to find tear tracks trailing there. She shoved her feelings on seeing a piece of her mother she never knew down, and began to make little notes, why, she didn't know.

The entry wasn't addressed to anyone, maybe she hadn't wanted Jude Heartfilia to know? That didn't make sense though. And the date. Exactly half an year before her mother died. Coincidence or not? Okay, by that point, her mother hadn't fallen ill, not even close. iAnna Heartfilia. /iThat name tugged at her too. Was this the ancestor Leo was talking about? Then why had he said 'remembered' and not 'found out'? Her mother had stated she didn't know who she was before this.

Moving on, there were _88 celestial keys_?! She'd have to ask the Zodiac, or maybe just read further if her mother had found out if it was true or not. If it was, she already had a goal. _Planetal spells_. That meant there were more than just Urano Metria! She could work with that too! And her mother had pointed out which specific spirit she had to ask.

She stood up. Her legs protesting from their sudden use and made a mental note to work on her physical training to. She stretched her arms and proceeded to her bedroom. Right now, she was physically and emotianally exhausted, so a little sleep would do her some good. She'd get up early to finish her assignments for Jason and a bit of jogging wouldn't hurt so there was that.

"Alright! Guess, I'm finally starting on the right path! Wait for me Fairy Tail," she faced her tracking-collage and raised her hand up in the sky with her index finger extended, a grin spreading on her face, "I'll definitely make you proud of me!"

 **A/N: Okay, yes, I know that might've been a little boring for you guys but the show's just started! It's gonna pick up. This chapter basically contained as little description as I could allow since the previous one was meant to be a bot thoughtful. And I mostly there in a lot of head canons of mine, which might or might not be continued, along with the canon parts. The reason why I mainly finished this early is because my internet has been out for a few days T-T. Anyways, thank you to all those that viewed, reviewed, and favourited. It means a lot! Please tell me if you have any suggestions on how I can improve or whatever you think is gonna happen next. Sayonara!**


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